LYNN BEHRENDT
Wardrobe Poems
I WANT A GARMENT
I want a garment
made of goat hair
waxpaper-thin wool
crinkled silk
semi-transparent mohair
fine alpaca
embroidered with
angora words.
I want Atlas-rich satin
coarse cotton knit
gold gauze
a ribbed pebbly
broken weave
horizontal striped
linen flag with
looped brilliant
lustrous raised
alphabetic pattern
and a stiff-finished trim.
I crave plain white
cashmere crepe
heavy honest burlap
dark brown hemp
waterproof
soft charmeuse
leather-strong chintz.
I wish to wear
glazed drapery crinoline
sheer duffel dungaree
cypress woven toweling
berry colored flax
scarlet dyed
shiny spun gabardine
gingham grosgrain herringbone
with woven rows
in parallel slope.
I crave huckaback lines
hounds-tooth hem
checked stout jacquard
with intricate loom
shaded rayon
weft-knitted lamé
metallic lutestring threads
through felted lightweight plaid
rubberized madras mackinaw
quilted corded matelasse
and meshed down moleskin.
I’ve a lifelong desire
to recklessly don
jazzy translucent organza
diaphanous pashima
ornamental nylon
nubby poodle poplin
with faint puckered finish
worsted russet ramie
feathered sateen stockinette
watery silver flannel
tarlatan and terry
woolsey-wincey
length of velvet
soft mixed
wide-stitched
lucid west wind.
I SAW A SHIRT THAT SAID
I saw a shirt that said
Got nukes? Cuba does.
Mega Geek.
Sons of Comisky.
Happy New Yr.
We survived.
Rosemary is my homegirl.
I’m proud to be white.
“I love New York” in Arabic.
High heels, high hopes.
Love all; trust few.
Feh.
Christina sucks.
Just Kiss Me as she leaves
sunset Plaza in Los Angeles.
I am a motherfucker.
Straight pride.
Bodybuilding.
While you were reading this
I farted.
I am a drunk.
Working Class Hero.
Porch Monkey 4 Life.
Angel.
I screw trainwrecks.
Too hot to care.
King of dorks.
If his package ain’t packing,
ship him off to another biatch.
I’m Gandalf.
MILF.
US ARMY.
Hey world, I bite
my thumb
at thee.
Eat beef clip art.
Occupy all streets.
Love me; don’t eat me.
2 cold 2 know I’m cool.
My little Princess.
Pants.
I have no opinion.
Change your incandescent lightbulbs
to fluorescent.
I am important in ways
that don’t mean a damn thing.
I love Jesus.
Feed me candy.
I went to Key West for spring break
and all I got was this illegitimate child.
Not my fault.
Coming soon in big block letters.
They’ve found something
that does the work of five men:
one woman.
I’m too pretty to do homework
so my brother does it for me.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
I (picture of an elephant)
the San Diego Zoo.
I invented this swagger.
Not everything stays in Vegas.
I’m mean-ass.
Support Darwinian evolution:
kill a weakling today.
Nobody likes a nobody.
I am Republican:
are you surprised?
I’m going to the prom.
The mighty.
If you like my guns
you’ll love my rocket.
I’m retired but I work
as a part time pain in the ass.
Back in black is rampant in schools.
Girl.
So I’m kind of a big deal.
No future.
Poker freak.
Hey LeBron
how’s my dick taste?
Favorite grandbaby.
Smart cookie.
Human.
Take care of uterus.
Some dudes marry dudes:
get over it.
I love wine.
I’m naked under here.
That’s how I roll.
Not in the band.
Only this.
Pump up the fruit.
I eat more pussy
than cervical cancer.
Everybody has to believe
in something; I believe
I’ll have another beer.
I own Disney.
There’s a party in my tummy.
When the rapture comes,
we’ll get our country back.
I’m too pretty to breathe
so this respirator does it for me.
Get high.
Marines suck.
Eat shit and die.
Reborn.
Office rat.
I’m with me.
I’m too stressed
to pay all these bills.
I scored high on my drug test.
Bullshit 80s baby.
I slept on the Great Wall.
I have a feeling you may be a douche.
Think of me as the Barbie
you’ll never get to play with.
My heart is behind bars.
The world is my ashtray.
I don’t mind if you kill me.
Sorry if my loud pipes
disturbed your phonecall.
Zombie pony.
I will be masturbating within the next hour.
I have lupus: what’s your excuse?
I can’t—I am a Mormon.
Talk to me in French.
Eat bananas.
Bible camp blood bath.
Does this shirt make my tits look big?
Get out of my head.
I’m out of my mind at the moment
but feel free to leave a message.
I beat anorexia.
Dip me in chocolate
and throw me to the lesbians.
If you knew my family you’d understand.
Fat people are hard to kidnap.
NO CLOTHES ALLOWED
No clothes allowed
that’s what they say
no clothes no waiting
the economist has no clothes
the generals have no clothes
the university has no clothes
the architect has no clothes
no clothes on Ragged Island
Putin is Batman without any clothes
Hans Christian Anderson officially has no clothes
the market knows the dollar has no clothes
no naps no clothes no clothes for the party
no shame no clothes
no clothes or sleep
no curtains no clothes
the ambassador has no clothes
no clothes cartoons and comics
the Euro has no clothes
the analyst has no clothes
no clothes in Pennsylvania
the metabolic syndrome wears no clothes
and no clothes gets you free clothes
so this animal has no clothes
no clothes in America
no clothes anywhere
the belle has no clothes
at the rental marketplace ball
the Fed has no clothes
Natalie Portman: no clothes
no clothes ‘til December
the MFA has no clothes
big tobacco laptop revolution
no clothes, the peace process
has no clothes, no clothes
beyond this point
SHE WAS NAKED AND ALL ARTICULATE
She was naked and all articulate
naked and I said firefly
she was naked and kneeling
a thought came down
and washed away the hurt
she was naked and he was dead
within seconds she was naked and all over me
she was naked and handcuffed on the bed
with tape over her eyes and mouth
naked and only had her panties on
naked and covered in blood
she was naked and he wasn’t looking
quite so detached anymore
in fact he looked panicked
because she was naked and the father knocked down the door
she was naked and chained to the altar
her pink undies wrapped around her neck like a bow
she was naked and lifeless and no streetwalker
naked and hugging a tree
the hot sun on her skin
and the cool breeze
felt very good indeed
she was naked and her tongue was like a snake
she was naked and fifty years old and alone
naked and passed out from wine coolers
the sheets were covering her
naked and completely hairless
a pentagram carved into her stomach
on which rested a note
she seemed to be asleep
naked and battered
naked and distressed
she was naked and cool and free
she was naked and looked quite mad
she was naked and she was vacuuming
naked and lying on her back on top of a fire-ant nest
her long black hair had been shaved
she had been laid out, bound in his cabin
shivering from the cold, naked and he fully clothed
she was naked and covered head to toe in feces
scrape marks on the door showed
that she had tried to claw her way out of the room
she was naked and running away
naked and running through the woods
she was naked and she refused to speak
coated in a fine sheen of sweat
briar scratches on her body
she was trying to sever herself from her vagina
to her navel with a razor blade
she was naked and still no one cared
naked and smiling naked and tied up
and did not even try to put her clothes on
she was naked and barefoot as her head swiveled around
naked and tied to the wooden dining room chair
she was naked and she was standing in front of him
holding herself and a thought came down
and washed away the hurt
she was naked and stunning
dirty, glorious, kneeling
naked and not breathing
lying in the snow when they found her
naked and walking
bent forward like a monkey
bare-bones skinny
naked sans scars
naked and pushed up against the fence
dehydrated and clutching a handful of raspberries
she was naked and she looked as if she had been crying
naked and dirty and free
naked and red, bound, shaved, begging
she was naked and removed the blankets
she was naked and ready to have casts applied to both legs
she was naked except for white knee highs and saddle shoes
swimming out towards the lovely little rock island jutting out of the water
she was naked with the lights on and curtains open
she was naked and in view of everyone
naked and being watched
and she laid down on the ground
as if she had been shot
HE WAS NAKED WHEN HE AWOKE
He was naked when he awoke
naked at the car wash
naked when they found him
he was naked in the Bellagio fountains
naked in Alaska
he was naked, I tell you, naked
no one had to tell him he was naked—
he knew—naked in the steam room
naked as he drove through Scarborough town center
he was naked on stage, naked and hungry
naked and unarmed, bathing in the creek
when a Crow warrior seized and held him
he was naked from the waist up
naked from the waist down
and he started to apologize to everyone
when the cops came to the hotel he was naked
he was naked and I was young
but that’s a different story
he was naked (they
usually are) the woman realized
he was naked and ran inside her house
this morning when I woke up he was naked,
upside down in his shallow fresh water bowl
upside down in his shallow fresh water bowl
with a silly desperate look on his face
I gently flipped him over
he ran out of his room
and then out of the house altogether
SHE WORE
She wore
red flowers
yellow ribbon
baggy clothes
singed silver
wedding dress
shadow swaying
bed to street
blue wellington boots
with bright white soles
a doll-sized shiny jacket
bright gold ring
wreath of roses
red glitter cape
heels in the winter
and go-go boots
emerald fishnet stockings
sequined bodysuit
black scars leatherwork
a-line gown with back drape
ballerina neckline
tube top boat neck
bias cut bolero jacket
boot cut box pleat
broomstick camisole
cap sleeve sheer chemise
crew neck form-fit
empire seams
convertible collar
handkerchief style
illusion jagged to flowing
from waist to ankle
falling off the shoulder
just below the bust
kangaroo pocket
keyhole neck kimono
broad sash shelf bra
peek-a-boo petticoat
ruffled lace panty edge
scanty shrug spaghetti straps
tea length tankini
tear-away shorts
tie-cinched waist
tulle wrapt wings
V-NECK
We make money
not art
we
have
sensors on the skin
LED lights
so here I sit
customized
luminous
aramid
a likeminded
prototype
sans zipper—
oh little black
dress I’ll never wear,
I carry you
with me
carry me too
you can and do
take it with you
all movement, fabric
is functional
always
conditional
clothing
incorporates
scent,
mood
bundled
apparel
is memory
odor free
stain repellant
disposable: no
necktie from which
to hang—
get a second skin
that’s smart—
be shirted squid
square root
blue circle pattern
slowly lights up
(or not) for all
the factories in China
for all the tan
microfluid fragrance
embedded iron-on saying
or keen Plathian
spiritual
hygiene
would I were I
so inclined
to take one article
clean and toss it
over bridge edge
into pure route—
I’m ill equipped
for nudity
always detachable
pre-emergent
project sweat ring
and QVC
with pink blush
skin tight garment
appear naked yes but not
essentially clothed
fabricated yet organized
according to color
according to color
a segregated closet
emotionally fit
perfect
secondhand
yr frisson forever
flame retardant
___________________________________________________________
Lynn Behrendt is the author of petals, emblems, available from Lunar Chandelier Press. She edits the Annandale Dream Gazette, a chronicle of poets' dreams, as well as co-curating Peep/Show Poetry. She is the editor and publisher of the micropress LINESchapbooks, which has published works by Ron Silliman, Robert Kelly, Kimberly Lyons, and others. She lives with her son in Red Hook, NY, and works in the grants office at Bard College.
___________________________________________________________
Lynn Behrendt is the author of petals, emblems, available from Lunar Chandelier Press. She edits the Annandale Dream Gazette, a chronicle of poets' dreams, as well as co-curating Peep/Show Poetry. She is the editor and publisher of the micropress LINESchapbooks, which has published works by Ron Silliman, Robert Kelly, Kimberly Lyons, and others. She lives with her son in Red Hook, NY, and works in the grants office at Bard College.
