for Sandra Moussempes
And if this time I am at the foot of your bed considering shadows that are
alive and at the same time air, so your thoughts directly transmit into my
computer and flow with no effort like:
|(memories we share of the sea)|
If you sit and just think of chamomile and to convince yourself that you are
not sick with the flu I will imagine, see, flash, behold an image that I know
haunts, weights, weakens you:
And old house. A little girl sitting on her father's lap, comfortable, leaning
back, smiling. I imagine, recognize, survey that the child leans in, as does the
father, they touch foreheads, lead in again, and out, laughing. There are
horses outside eating hay, leaning in, and out, chomping and crackling. But
the little girl is not thinking about what is outside.
And it seems like a perfectly nice picture, but you don't like it.
Rest here on that chair while I go and conjure, scope, survey a different one.
The paranormal shows has just begun.
|(that picturing which now is):|
...peep, peeped, peeper, peeping, peer, peering, peered, peripheral...
Should I tell you what to do so that you can be released from the memory of
what happened in that house,
Should I dance and sing,
Should I marvel at all I know or wallow in sorrow over all I don't,
Should I be pretty, an old woman, a clairvoyant, a hag, a sage,
Should I ask you to peep, peer, project, watch while meanwhile, dimming...
Repeating. This image. This image. The way it makes me feel. The way it
makes me feel weak, weakened, weakening. This image, this imaging, this
imagination. This image is right in front of my mind, in spite of this I accept
Imagine the house now in color. Blue. Now a scent. Seasalt. And you can
switch to another image—you, in the water, feeling good again. A little girl,
swimming with waves in her hair. You as you are now, swimming with waves
in your hair. Making star shapes, floating relaxing like that. Imagine a vista,
viewfinder, vision; see it on a screen screening shining things, sighting the
picture that is there now, and see how it makes you feel, good like that. Like
that, now, think of the house:
dim, dimming, dimmed, diffuse...
even as it changes, is changing, had changed,
Or should I curse? Dance and sing? Make rain noises?
...as if I could be anything but shape, shaper, shaping, shaped, sketchy
Anything other than continuity, fluid, flow, change,
changing we all are is:
|(All we are is changing all we are &)|
|Photo by Sophie Prevallet|